Well, we didn’t need as much luck and prayers for no hair pulling as I thought we were going to. After some ill-timed email malfunctions in which we did not receive our master wish list until the afternoon of our final End-Of-Our-Lives sign meeting, everything ended up working out quite nicely. As we walked in to visit with Home Helper, we were confronted by our overly-concerned (and rather hyper) interior designer, Dana. “You haven’t chosen your shutters OR exterior paint color yet!” she chided us. Geez, lady. Give it a rest, for the 28th time. After I inform her that the website she gave me (after requesting it from her 12 times) isn’t functioning properly, the light bulb comes on. Ding. Realization. We pull it up together (apparently she didn’t believe me) and she sees the problem. Apparently Shutter Lady has decided to re-design her website right in the middle of our much-needed selection time slot.
We end up choosing our shutters from visual examples (better for me, anyway) and moved on to exterior paint color. This is a very unexpectedly nerve-wracking decision for me. We can choose ANY paint color in the fan…even orange. Much to Austin’s dismay, we opted more toward the tan end of the spectrum. Of all the decisions we have made so far, this makes me the most jittery. What if I end up choosing something that looks fine on the swatch but en-mass turns my house a putrid shade of old lady worn –out- slippers pale pink?! GAG with a capital G-A-G. I am a-feared this could take a while, but apparently I don’t have “a while” since Design Diva Dana is breathing down my neck while beaming lasers out of her square-frame bespectacled eyes. All in all, she has been great to work with, but today my patience (and paint selecting skills) are really being tested.
As we sit down with Christen to sign our lives away, we begin the process by eliminating some design extras we have decided are not necessary (luckily we agreed on 100% of them…shocking, I know). After asking questions about some unidentified numbers that look rather high (and ones I would definitely rather nix), we receive clarification on extra concrete driveway costs and Austin’s beloved HDMI cable for our living room. Unfortunately, those pesky numbers had to stay. Once we get the extras eliminated and total costs figured, we are faced with a serious dilemma. Our price per square foot is too high – we have officially priced ourselves out of the market. And here I thought everything was moving along so swimmingly. Unfortunately at that moment, we were closer to struggling to keep our head above water. We needed some floaties – STAT!
We decide to eliminate the fence (yes, I know I have an 85 pound ball of fur to contain, but I will logic it out for you shortly). After some weighing back-and-forth of different options, we finally get the price down to where it needs to be, but not before my husband attempts to start World War III with me over the cost of our storm shelter. I inform him we could get it cheaper at a later date (about $1,000 cheaper, to be exact) but he seems to think since he’s never known anyone who has one that he knows better than me. Who wants to tell him he’s wrong? No one rush all at once. When Home Helper leaves to grab some copies she printed, I give him a stare that makes Design Diva’s look like puppy eyes. He gets the point. In the famous (or infamous) words of good ol’ Chuck…WINNING.
Ok, so we’ve made the circle back to the fence. You’re probably wondering why someone who owns a dog (a rather large one at that) would eliminate a fence from their plans. Well, kiddos, we happen to have a good friend who is the superintendent for another home building company in the area (don’t cry treason just yet), and he has offered his services to help the hubs build our fence AT COST, thereby saving us a whopping 50%. Hot damn! You’d commit treason too if you could save half…trust me. If you don’t believe me (feel free to sit in the tree fort with the rest of Design Diva’s club) try building your own house and see what it drives you to do (besides drink). Being the overly-concerned first time home buyer I am, our friend also informs me he has access to all the proper tools and promises me on his life that our fence will be level and the epitome of professional-looking. Hmm. I am considering sealing this deal in blood just to make sure.
After all eliminations have been made and we are on track for the perfectly-priced home (if there is such a thing), we start signing and initialing all pages. After page 14, my hand starts to cramp. Is this a sign?! Just kidding. Once the final numbers have been calculated, Home Helper informs us our price has come down from our original sans upgrades, something rarely (if ever) seen on her end. Take that, construction gods. You will NOT defeat the master bargain hunter. On our final pages, I spot something previously undiscovered. I can add oil-rubbed bronze faucets to all rooms for the price I originally thought was just for the kitchen. WHAAAAT?! I give my husband the previously-avoided puppy eyes. It works. The construction gods may have gotten in one final hit, but overall I come out ahead. Wielding my victorious pen post-signing, I feel utterly victorious.
We don’t escape without promising Dana to return Friday afternoon with our exterior paint selection. Today is Friday. We STILL have not decided. Oopsie.
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